Mommy, tell me about when I was born

The other night Mackenzie asked me to tell her about when she was born. This was the second time she had asked lately. I enjoyed reminiscing with her. Then she asked to hear about Emma's birth and she remembered different parts of it too. Sometimes I'm so tired at night and just want to get through the bedtime routine, but that's also the time MJ and I have some really good chats. She tells more more about her day and asks me questions. We get in some snuggle time that we haven't gotten during the day. I have to remind myself that these days/nights go by so fast and I will never regret the time spent with my children, only the time I didn't take for them. 

I can't believe we'll be welcoming a new baby into our family soon. I feel so much more nervous this time around; I don't know why. I keep thinking I may only have a few more days with just my two girls; what more can I do with them right now? I have no doubt I have enough love for all my children; God gives us a great capacity to love. But, I wonder how do I manage a newborn and have both of them still feel special and not get lost in the shuffle? It really didn't seem hard at all when Emma arrived, but somehow number three makes me nervous. MJ said she is quite excited and can't wait for the baby to be here; she's really ready to help out. Emma, on the other hand, doesn't seem to have much grasp on what's happening and I worry about how she'll adjust. When we ask where the baby is she lifts up my shirt and points to my belly button. It's cute, but the poor girl has no clue. She just loves attention and I just hope we can get her through the transition of a new baby. I so badly just want to be enjoying this time right now and yet there seems to be more anxiety in these last few weeks. Part of it is work deadlines, but they are really unavoidable right now. Please continue to pray for me that I can let go of what I can not control and just be at peace with whatever comes our way each day. 

Sorry for such a heavy post, but this blog is as much a way to update friends and family about what's happening with us as it is a way for me to journal and connect with others. I've debated about putting this kind of stuff on here, but I feel I have to be honest about how I feel. Writing has always been therapeutic for me too. I also don't have any cute pics of the girls that haven't been posted; maybe we'll get some tomorrow. I promised MJ some Mommy/Mackenzie time tomorrow and she could pick whatever she wants us to do. I'm excited to see what she comes up with. She mentioned baking something, making a baby blanket and playing chef with her kitchen. Should be a fun day! 

Well, now my hubby is calling for attention so I best be going!