Some thoughts about Motherhood

Motherhood is the GREATEST and the HARDEST job I have had/will have. (Those of you who are mothers are probably nodding in agreement. Those of you who have yet to become mothers-please don't let this scare you-remember I said greatest before hardest.) 

There are some days like last Thursday when the weather was so great that I said "phewey" to my "to do" list and spent some much needed time outside with my kids. Then, there are days like this Monday, where I just had to get bookwork done and became so frustrated, impatient and downright annoyed at my children. I was in tears almost all day from the overwhelming feeling. I felt like I couldn't sit down for more than 30 seconds before having to break up a fight, get someone off the counter, feed someone, clean up a mess, take care of bathroom business, etc. It was literally like that ALL DAY LONG. And with E not napping every day anymore and J not on a regular nap schedule there was no break from it. There are days where I start my day off with quiet time with God, my exercise bike and a decent breakfast. The rest of the day goes smoothly and we all have fun together. Then there are days where nothing seems to work right and I let them watch way more TV than I'd like to admit because it's the only way to have a minute to do anything else. And while I want to be a better wife and mother all the time, I know that I can't/won't ever be the perfect wife or mother. Along with struggling just to get through the day, I also had to struggle with that reality.

So many thoughts have been going through my mind lately. I've been praying for many people (our friends and family, as well as friends from the blog world) who are experiencing some really sad/scary things right now. Sick children, lost jobs, far bigger worries than I have right now. So in the big picture of it all, we are really blessed and I have spent many days/nights thanking God for his blessings. 

But, after reading a few recent posts on "being real" I realized I want to be real and transparent too. I am imperfect, living with an imperfect husband and imperfect children in an imperfect world. Some days I wonder how we will survive the toddler/preschool years, but then night falls and I get to sleep and wake up to another day and a clean slate. 

So, if you're still with me, thanks. I started this blog for friends and family so we could keep in touch with those far away. It's also my online journal/scrapbook when I get behind on the real scrapbooks (which I am right now). And I've hesitated about posting things other just cute photos of the kids, but again I have to be real. This is who I am. I'm a writer. I process things this way, by writing, by talking, so please indulge me a little every now and then. 

I promise to add some more photos next time. :)

And even though Monday was one of those HARDEST days as a Mom, these last two days have been better and ultimately through it all, I'm thankful that God blessed me with the GREATEST job of all.